by
HUDA Ansari
HUDA Ansari
“Rats!”
She had stepped into a puddle again. And her gorgeous new pink shoes were now covered in mud. She knew she shouldn’t have worn them out on such a rainy Monday morning. But Nick had bought them for her from his first salary at his big office job and they were so pretty and perfectly complimented her little pink skirt. She did look like quite a doll if one were to ignore the mud stains. Petite frame, slender legs, flawless skin, big green eyes, blonde curly locks – it couldn’t get prettier than this.
She fumbled through the thousand contents of her handbag and finally found a tissue paper. She brushed her pink shoes off, and hurried on to the bus-stop.
“I can’t believe they are ruined. Oh Nick will be so disappointed in me! Why am I so clumsy?” she whined to herself as she waited at the bus-stop. And suddenly he was there, smiling and suddenly the mud on her fine shoes didn’t seem to matter.
The bus pulled over, there were only two seats left on it. Her heart fluttered as she hopped on inside, looking back to make sure he’d climb aboard too. He didn’t. He gave way to an elderly lady instead. She saddened a little. He told the driver he’d take the next bus. He smiled at her from outside as the bus sped off.
She reached home and put her wet umbrella and shoes away.
“Nick will want a nice cup of tea!” she thought to herself. So she put the kettle on the stove to boil, before running into the shower. Oh how she needed that hot shower! She came out of the steamy room in a little white towel that barely covered the essentials. She sat down in front of the mirror lost in her thoughts, just as a strong hand reached for her waist and a soft kiss caressed her neck.
“Oh Nick,” she whispered.
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“Wake-up! Nick! We’ll be late,” she said nudging him.
“Don’t be a bad wife Anne,” he replied as he pulled her back into bed. “Sleep.”
“No, no, no, I’ll be late for the day-care. You know how I don’t like parents dropping off their kids late. It wouldn’t look good if I am late myself,” cried Anne as she struggled out of his grip.
“Then don’t go at all,” he whispered, carelessly playing with her negligee, pressing down soft kisses on her lips.
“But if I don’t go, I won’t see...” she struggled.
“Then you won’t soil your shoes waiting in the rain for your bus,” he joked, as he pinned her against the pillows.
“But Nick... I want to go...”
He lavished kisses down her bosom. “But I want you to stay.”
“Oh Nick.”
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Every day she waited for the bus. Every day, twice a day she saw him there. For some reason, it was the highlight of her day. He always smiled with that genial smile of his at her. She daren’t smile back at him; she was too timid for that, but somehow seeing him smile at her made her feel warm inside.
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The joy of being a newlywed still graced Anne. She loved him ever so much – she did what pleased him, listened to him, obeyed him – he was her world. Life was good otherwise too, Anne was enjoying taking care of her day-care toddlers; Nick was getting promoted faster than ever at his job. He had started off as an accounting clerk but was now a senior accounting executive. His new workplace really was appreciating his talents it seemed. He had received four promotions in one year. Even though he started spending long hours at work, he told her it was worth it.
“I knew you’d make it big!” she cried as he came home with the news of his latest promotion.
“That’s why you married me, isn’t it?”
“You know that’s not true. I married you because I love you,” she exclaimed as she hung his coat in the cupboard.
He only responded with an uncertain smile.
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A lot of things change as time passes. Some for the better, and some not so much so.
She still saw him daily at the bus-stop. But their twice daily encounters were reduced to a daily morning encounter only. He no longer looked happy. His smile wasn’t the same. It was half-hearted. There were secrets in it. It wasn’t pure. It was tainted with untimely cares.
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“Come on Jack, finish your juice. Daddy will get angry otherwise,” she cried as she pulled him to send him off to his bus. The toddler took his own sweet time much to the frustration of his mother.
“What’s taking so LONG?” screamed Nick from outside the door.
“We’ll be out soon,” cried Anne.
“Stupid woman. Taking forever. She thinks everyone’s work is as ridiculous as hers. Some of us actually make money to pay for your frivolous expenses!”
“I’m sorry Nick. I really am. I will try to be up another 5 minutes earlier tomorrow.”
“At the rate you get dressed, you might as well not sleep.”
Anne held back a little sob as she let Jack out of the door. She leaned in to kiss Nick and apologise but he shrugged her off, and walked past her. She grabbed her purse and walked out behind him.
She made her way to the bus-stop. He was there. But he wasn’t smiling. He didn’t look happy. She knew she wouldn’t have a good day.
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It was lunch-time. She couldn’t take this anymore. Her marriage was failing, she knew that, but she also knew she could save it.
“Cover for me please,” she told her colleague. “I have a personal call to make. And it can’t wait.”
She hailed a cab, made a stop at his favourite bakery and grabbed some cupcakes. She made another stop at her favourite clothing store. She picked out a deep red décolleté, out it on threw with her jacket over it. She then told the cabbie to take her to Nick’s workplace.
“I just need to show him I am more than just a mother and his wife. I love him. I can please him more. I'll be better. I can do this. I’ll just walk into his office and surprise him.”
She paid the cabbie and walked into the office.
“Okay so I will go into his office, I will tell him... no... I’ll show him my dress... but... maybe I will...”
She turned the handle on the door. And she was in his office. And his table was a mess. And there was a woman on it. And she wasn’t dressed for work. Not the kind for an office anyway.
“Oh Nick!” She cried.
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“Do you love her, Nick?”
“I had to do it. You and your demands and your measly job and the kid. I told you I didn’t want the kid, but you had to get yourself knocked-up. Someone had to get the money. So I sleep with her. Big deal. She keeps to her word. She gave me the promotions!”
She dusted the family portrait on top of the stairs.
“Does she love you, Nick?”
She dusted off their wedding photo frame.
“Why does that matter?”
For the first time, she noticed her in the background of their wedding shot by the cake.
“Didn’t you start working with her three months after we got married?” she asked as her hands started dusting to the porcelain vase which his boss had given him on their first anniversary.
“What? Yes, but why are you even asking me that? It is your fault I had to sell myself out.”
She stopped dusting, her hands still resting on the vase. She turned around and stared into his eyes.
“Did you ever love me, Nick?”
“Who cares? I’d do you all the same.”
And suddenly, just like that, she lost grip of the gifted vase and it went cascading down the stairs, taking with it its intended recipient.
“Oh how clumsy am I! I have made a huge mess. Nick wouldn’t like it, I should go clean it up,” she said to herself as she took out the broom to clean up the porcelain remnants of the vase, slowly but definitely soaking up the red.
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“It’s okay Jack. Take your time. Daddy’s not going to be around today to scold us. Now shall we go?”
She held the little boy’s hand and he climbed into his bus. She saw him off and walked down to the bus-stop herself. As she stood there she waited for the bus, she knew he wasn’t there. She knew he’d never be there again. But it was okay – because for the first time in her life, she smiled for herself.
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