“Virginity is a lack of opportunity!”
When someone said that to me some time back, I was mildly offended and deeply hurt. How could someone make a preposterous claim like that? What right does anyone have to make such sweeping assumptions about personal choices we make? It felt like something a very close-minded person would say who wasn’t comfortable with his/her own choices.
A couple of years down the line, I realise I was the one who was close-minded.
As much it is a matter of personal choice, seldom it is the reason behind our “choices”.
Alcohol is banned in Pakistan and official statistics will tell you it is not available for retail purposes at all. Even non-Muslim residents have to show their IDs to be able to purchase at the very few limited clubs and licensed retailers. But on a non-official level, things are wildly different.
Anyone from a good family will not ever be allowed to or make a conscious choice to consume alcohol in Pakistan. But take this very person, plant him/her in a foreign country with no cameras or family members, and you’ll have on your hands an intoxicated fool you’ll be dragging back to his/her hotel room.
The same goes for promiscuity. The decent, honest men who are seen engrossed in work and homes here in Pakistan lose no time in calling for a harlot on a business trip in Thailand. We don’t even leave gambling behind.
The little known fact is everything we claim not to do, we just do behind guises of decency and morality. Alcohol is one of the most easily available of illegal goods, weed and marijuana lagging not far behind. You just have to know where to go.
Karachi hosts the dodgiest of gay and straight parties, many of them beach parties. Alcohol is not the only vice the society needs to worry about at event such as these.
I just overheard some school kids born and bred in Karachi talking about the different kinds of alcohol and their intoxicating potencies. The other day another kid was telling me about how much it costs to get into one of the above mentioned parties and how they are kind of Miami styled parties. I also learnt booze is not covered in the cover charge. For someone who went to one of the most posh school around known for its rowdy and promiscuous kids, I feel like I had been living in a bubble.
Not that I have any issues with any choice anyone makes that doesn’t affect me, it does make me wonder how effective are the moral values we were supposedly ingrained with as children. Or do those values have an expiration date? Right now, they sound like American options, “Oh hello opportunity, here are my morals!” The thing is I can understand someone with a broken home making such choices, but people from stable families throwing away everything is a little hard for me to understand.
A while ago there was a huge hype in the media about an article that went to the press written by a student from a prominent university of the country. She berated the disgraceful behaviours of students and the apathy of the management to do something about it. I didn’t want to take anyone else’s word for the article so I read it myself. And at the end of it, my opinion was made: it was the ranting of a very jealous girl who was having a hard time getting her own guy. It sounds like a heartlessly cruel thing to say, but the bottom-line is her words lacked sincerity and sounded more spiteful than anything else.
I don’t get who is better. The ones who do everything and admit it without guilt or remorse, or the ones who do everything and pretend to be all angelic, or the ones who would do everything given the opportunity but are still waiting for it.
Seeing this side of your society and then hearing that good pious boy or girl making claims about their morality and confounding people who indulge in shameful activities, it leaves you with only one question: Are they really good liars, or do they just lack the opportunity?
But that’s not the saddest bit. The saddest bit is, how do you know you aren’t any different?
The writer continues to be surprised by the society and herself.
So true, don't forget the veena malik case these days. We have clips of "sheela ki jawani" or "munni budnam howi" playing on our news channels but we criticize Veena for indecent exposure. Talk about double standards.
ReplyDeleteIt is an inevitable axiom of the way we are brought up. The principals, the religious doctrine that we are taught as kids growing form a fraction of our development. No offence but God basically played a role of an unpaid baby-sitter.
ReplyDeleteThe educated Muslim representation which you are brooding over spend a tiny amount of cash and time on divine knowledge. Our parents continue to spend Millions of Cash on our formal education that drives them satisfaction to give them a social standing. How much time, money is spend on moral and religious education? Peanuts compared to that.
So when religious and moral education was left for the lower class of the crust to spread and spend time on, what do you think will be a resultant effect?
The question really is: are we inadvertently lying to ourselves of being morally at par with money-deriving professions or do we actually consider the opportunity cost of religious eduction and worldly education?
None taken dear. I was actually looking at our middle classes who actually claim to have a very strong attachment to their so-called values. This is the faction of society which actually does make a conscious effort to religiously educate people but unfortunately the result is the creation of seemingly fanatic people who will shed their morals and values at the first chance they get.
ReplyDeleteThe elites are very well aware of what they are doing. They normally find religion as a means of hindering their professional and social growth which is their point of view.
My concern are the people whose claims of holding high morals and values are a sham. Piety is so last season's Chanel.
Women's sobriety center I admire this article for the well-researched content and excellent wording. I got so involved in this material that I couldn’t stop reading. I am impressed with your work and skill. Thank you so much.
ReplyDelete